I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
