no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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