Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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