Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
