i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
