I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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