If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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