Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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