***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Screwed.edu
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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