i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
