im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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