Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
