Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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