She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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