No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
