I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
