just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
