i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
