I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
3 2 1 whiskey
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
