I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
