You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
