you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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