oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
