Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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