Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
