I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
