Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
