do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
