so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
