i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
