They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
