Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
