I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
