the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
