Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
