READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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