Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
