Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
