too bad you live with your parents still
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
