why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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