i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
