my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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