I just cut my nipple shaving
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
