Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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