Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize