dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
