theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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