I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
