I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
