is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
