He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We need to rekindle our bromance
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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