sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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