i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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