I'm gonna have a badass scar
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
