i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
